You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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