the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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