I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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