There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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