A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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