so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
