please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i came on her dog
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
