If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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