whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
