I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
