I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
