He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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