Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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