whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
