I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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