saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
