We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We left the knife in your bed.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
