Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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