How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize