Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
