Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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