grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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