Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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