Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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