This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
