they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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