....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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