hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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