if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
