So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
