They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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