so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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