Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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