**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
