Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
