I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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