You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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