I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I supernannyed him into submission
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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