my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
