Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
A+ Viking dick
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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