Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize