one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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