I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
