Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
