Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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