So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
