The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
