I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
