If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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