Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
