Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
