Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
