my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
