i just had sex bonerless
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
