we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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