Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
