You're my little dorito
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
