Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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