hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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