Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize