I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
