He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
