hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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